I don't want to let my emotions dictate how I behave anymore. It's immature. How do I grow up?? How do I love and trust when I really, never have?? I'm tired of blaming my mom and dad. so now what?
I am a weak person. I look to other people to make me feel full and happy. Really, I look to food. I chew pretty much all day long. It's time for a big change. I don't really know what I'm changing though. I hate myself a lot, and I am like, going through the past, peeking at all the things that make me feel shame, and I'm trying to accept those things in the hopes that I can stop hating myself. I can't hate myself, I have a daughter. It's important to teach her to love herself.
I wish there was some switch I could flip, immature child- mature adult
I feel like I have worked really hard to stay a child and now I'm so sick of it but I don't even know what to do. Sorry this is so negative... I keep finding myself reaching out to people for answers when really I have some answers. I just... don't have the strength... to apply... what is right - to my life. I need strength and I guess I don't know where I get that from anymore. not from that donut I ate.
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